You’re really laying it on thick there, aren’t you? First of all, thank you for the compliments. Assuming you typed this soberly, then you’re backing up my point that people can make the same comments sober as they can while inebriated. I’m an affectionate drinker who tells anybody who I was secretly interested in exactly where my head is, so I get it. But there’s a major difference between being a flirty, delightful drinker (assuming it’s reciprocated) and spouting off racial slurs.

Again, this did not happen every time, and I mentioned two men I dated (both non-black) who had a completely different reaction after liquor. If anything, they acted exactly like me when I’ve had a couple whiskey sours. But never have I ever been wasted (I handle liquor well, so I can only think of two times) and just decided to start saying racial slurs and insulting people. That’s something that was already in the person — and she held onto it well. The other people I mentioned in this post aren’t ones I give a damn about. But the roommate? That one made me wince because we were friends, and I never looked at her the same again after that. The words fell out of her mouth far too easily.

As far as traveling, I have heard from black people who travel worldwide, who still face racism wherever they go--sober or not. It definitely does not miraculously disappear just because someone left the United States. And I have dealt with a couple of non-American contractors in the past two weeks who I definitely feel like were questionably hostile, and ponder would the behavior have been the same if I was not a woman or black.

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Check out her five Medium publications: Doggone World, Homegrown, I Do See Color, Tickled and We Need to Talk. Visit to read about her.

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