Your comment is interesting to me because my mother’s old boss keeps popping into my head. He was an incredibly funny and charming older white guy who she was so cool with that he’d invite us out to his cottage when he retired. I have a photo of him and his wife framed in my home now. He was the reason my mother took his place when he retired. He would be classified in your “very few” category because he was dope. But my mother has also only held two jobs in her entire life, one of which she was at for 35-plus years.
In today’s economy, you move around more instead of staying at the same job for decades and interacting with the same people who get to know your mannerisms, personality, etc. In my case, no one on this marketing team was there for more than about five years (I believe) and three people had already thrown in the towel less than few months before I got there.
This whole incident still doesn’t sit right with me because I would’ve bet everybody on the entire team before I would’ve thought it was that fellow. It was the kind of experience that fits into that O’Jay’s song “Backstabbers” so well. I had no clue what was going on. And a simple one-on-one would’ve resolved it all — months before — and definitely before hugs, thank you cards and private chats were exchanged.
Everything I said in this post I said directly to that boss and the boss’s boss and HR. I just don’t do the “talk behind your back” game with anybody. If I said it about you, I’ll say it to you first. I did see the fellow one time before I left. I just shook my head, walked by her and went into a conference room, working quietly until she left. I was not going to give her the opportunity to smile in my face to play the victim a second time. She’d already claimed her previous internship was full of bosses who were “mean to her” and she cried and quit that job altogether. This was a pattern. And I still just did not catch on! A small part of me wonders if the “intimidation” boss gassed up the crying incident way more than needed, but still though, I would’ve appreciated the fellow coming to talk to me then — on the train.
Anyway, THANK YOU for reading. I appreciate your time.