You lost me here. I told my grandfather about someone I was dating one. His response, “Well, that’s dumb. Too much baggage. Dump him.” If anything, I got more cutthroat advice that nailed it. As terrible as this is going to sound for a woman to say, I think I always get my best advice from men. My older brother (only seven years) was on the phone one time with me, and I was burst out crying and complaining about how I “just can’t do this anymore.” His response: “Don’t then.”

My homegirls, and my mother, usually have their heart on their sleeve. I hear a million opinions and hopeless romantic advice. I’ve found that men, especially older men just cannot see relationships from a woman’s perspective, so they give brutally honest advice. And they have yet to be wrong. My great great aunt (and I love her to death) just loved love so much — she would’ve told me to stay with folks I had no business being with.

Outside of relationships, I get honest I’m-too-old-to-coddle-you advice on everything. When I wasn’t hysterically laughing, it was always good. Judgmental though, definitely judgmental, but not in a judgy-talk-about-you-behind-your-back way.

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Check out her five Medium publications: Doggone World, Homegrown, I Do See Color, Tickled and We Need to Talk. Visit Shamontiel.com to read about her.

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