You know what’s wilder about this to me? Every white person I know who has dated interracially always goes for someone who is dark-skinned or at least brown-skinned, never light-skinned people. I happened to notice this pattern with a white guy I dated and pointed it out to him. I asked about a bunch of light-skinned women, and he just seemed indifferent. The man’s ears perked up when they were of darker hues. He couldn’t quite explain it — or he didn’t want to offend me.

But it reminded me of a comedy special with Deon Cole who said if he was going to date a white girl, may as well go all out. I’m paraphrasing, but he said something to the point of “You don’t want the white girl with cornrows” who pretty much tries to act like a stereotypical black girl. You want the blue-eyed, blonde girl. The joke went on and I don’t want to mess it up, but he basically said what I’d already observed about how white men who date black women tend to go for Lupita Nyongo. Now whether he was joking or not is totally on him, but there was a lot of truth to that.

Of course there are exceptions like Robin Thicke marrying Paula Patton. Meanwhile Jon B. married a chocolate girl. I’m not disputing that on a celebrity ranking. My observations are what I see on a day-to-day with everyday people in Chicago when observing interracial couples. There definitely does seem to be a pattern. But I’m clearly not seeing every single interracial couple there is nor would I act like I do.

P.S. As an aside though, I genuinely do not understand why you gave the frat guy so much attention. After the “dick” comment, we would’ve been done talking forever. Let him be prejudice on his own time, not mine. I feel no shame for men (of any race) who are unattracted to me. That is their right and not my problem. I put as much energy in liking them as they do in not liking me — in other words, none. Where one isn’t interested, another one is.

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Check out her five Medium publications: Doggone World, Homegrown, I Do See Color, Tickled and We Need to Talk. Visit to read about her.

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