Totally not. Just do the same thing you told your daughter to do. Ask the person who is at the root of the issue. I despise the n-word, but I have hung out with countless black folks who use it like it’s any other word. There is no book that’s going to be one size fits all. Use your gut instincts to say away from anything that makes you hesitate. And if it’s something you truly don’t know, just ask — and don’t try to rationalize why it shouldn’t offend this person. The latter group who keeps trying to convince you why you shouldn’t be offended is about as annoying as the group who keeps using offensive terminology.