This is exactly why I'm still so puzzled by the post I wrote on a biracial co-worker. I thought California was so diverse that people would be more liberal in their views, but his problematic views on black women were astounding: http://bit.ly/2sbsheQ

I don't know where "when we moved here" is. I'm sure you've said it in another post, but I forgot. I still think it's ballsy for random strangers to just share their views on your relationship. Again, I never ran into that, but I have been told more often than not that I have a less-inviting vibe when I'm walking down the street. I'm the epitome of the "why don't you smile" woman. Chicago may have hardened me in that way. I show all my teeth in a camera lens, but can no longer deny the moves-with-purpose look I usually have on my face if I'm not walking with someone. I just really feel like if someone had approached me that way, my first response would be, "If you don't get your stupid ass outta my face." Maybe it would be shock. I dunno.

Even with my mixed opinions on interracial dating, never in a million years would I even look too long at a couple (regardless of my views). That's just not my right to do. I don't know their story or why they got together. I can only speak on the men I do know personally.

P.S. Sigh. Sorry he was abusive. This was a statistic that I wish was not so heavily linked to that demographic. A Japanese friend of mine became oddly submissive around her Mexican boyfriend (not at all how she acted with her black boyfriend before that) and turned into a different person. I've known enough Mexican in my life to not believe they're all this stereotype, but I've had a disturbing amount of Latina friends/co-workers who have given me example after example after example. It's jarring. I wish I could've introduced the Mexican men I knew to them instead of the ones they married.

Written by

Check out her five Medium publications: Doggone World, Homegrown, I Do See Color, Tickled and We Need to Talk. Visit Shamontiel.com to read about her.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store