This gets under my skin in a different way. Whenever someone tells me this, I usually ask about something else regarding their features. Are you proud to be a woman? Are you proud to be from [insert more-often-than-not] your suburb or small town? Do you like being a [insert team or country] fan?

When you don’t “see” something, it means you’re trying to avoid looking at it. This only leads me to believe you’re ashamed of it or find something wrong with it. I want everybody to see the 5'3 African American woman I stand in front of. See my black ass for all its worth cause I certainly love all of my physical features and respect my history. Don’t tell me you don’t see something that I can’t wait to celebrate day in and day out.

Just don’t accuse me of something because of it. That’s where the problem lies.

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Check out her five Medium publications: Doggone World, Homegrown, I Do See Color, Tickled and We Need to Talk. Visit to read about her.

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