The “real” question was exactly what I asked. Full stop.
All of the guys I wrote about in the post were physically attractive. But physically attractive does not make me automatically want to date someone — it just means you’re cute. No deeper than that.
It doesn’t become complex when the individuals have partners, as long as you respect the partner. The post I wrote pointed out a friend who was married for more than a decade who I can probably count on one hand hugging. I can count at least three others who had girlfriends or wives. I’m not willing to “negotiate” jealousy. Jealous people don’t “negotiate.” They just are who they are. You can either understand that level of nuttiness or you don’t. I do not. I’ve had two guys give me ultimatums to stop all friendships with guys in order to be/stay in a relationship with them. They walked. I kept the friends. I have no regrets.