The headline made me click on this immediately — even though I have never ever wanted to be a mother. Even during the years when I was a godmother before a childhood friend and I fell out, I told my godson to just call me by my name instead of “God-Ma.”

I’m pondering on this whole article, and it just doesn’t sound like a race-related issue to me. This sounds solely like a class issue. I know African-American women who have your exact same worries, some are college students who wanted to move into their careers and enjoy marriage. Others are trying to climb up the ladder.

But I also know women who financially just cannot afford to have children but still had them and are oddly happy about it. Still struggling, but happy as hell to bring a life into this world. Do I believe that black culture is more matriarchal? Yes. That’s largely due to a history of slavery, when black men have been imprisoned, beaten, killed, sold off to other households, etc. Then, as another commenter said, there are complex issues regarding house slaves taking care of white babies while having their own children sold to other households. But black women slaves were still working (by force) regardless of that.

Now while that motherhood love has definitely carried on — and fortunately the other actions are now considered crimes — I’m still thinking of all the black women I personally know who temporarily felt like their lives were “over” if they got pregnant. Either they simply didn’t want to have children (me) or they really really wanted to gain more ground in their career. What I can say for sure though, is all of these women are still working and still proud moms. So life does go on. Still though, I think class factors in more than race.

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Check out her five Medium publications: Doggone World, Homegrown, I Do See Color, Tickled and We Need to Talk. Visit to read about her.

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