OK, I read your original comment and then the longer post. I think it’s annoying when people post their articles in the comment section, but I think I may have a happy medium (although it is as much tongue-in-cheek as it is real advice) that you could agree to: “Finessing the pick-up line

As far as women hitting on men, I see it all the time. It might just be my social circle, but if we like you, we’re definitely making it super clear — and sometimes it’s a bit too clear and I have had to reel in a number of friends — “A boy’s experience from the #MeTooMovement” — so that belief that women will not hit on men is not true.

Minus the friend mentioned above, what I will say is we have a working knowledge that the man is interested in us already before we do so. Men will just walk up to randoms even if she’s not even slightly paying attention and be wildly aggressive. Women (that I know) are far more likely to scope out the scene — see who is already grabbing his attention in a club, whether he’s with someone already (or does she seem cousin-sisterish) and how he acts around his friends. There was a study I wrote about (forgot the post) that talked about how women are more likely to go after the guy in the group who makes all of his friends laugh as opposed to the guys who are laughing at the friends’ jokes. Humor works wonders.

I think that is the resolution that too many men miss. Be less pressed and more carefree. (Although we won’t admit it most times, the guy who seems like he could take-it-or-leave-it will get our attention more than the one who acts like a territorial puppy following our every move.) It’ll make (at least me) some figure he’s gotta be worth it if he just shrugs off the approach and thanks her for her time. But the guy who is aggressive and then pissed that you don’t like him is the royal ass who we too often run into.

Quite frankly, if men could master this, I believe there would be less complaints.

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Check out her five Medium publications: Doggone World, Homegrown, I Do See Color, Tickled and We Need to Talk. Visit Shamontiel.com to read about her.

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