I've been here before. I dated a Christian rapper one time. He'd "found" religion, and I was happy to hear it because maaaaaan, before religion that man was definitely going to end up in somebody's jail. He and all his friends became Christian rappers, and that was dope. What was cool was he never pressed me about religion. He kept saying I was "applestotic" and even put it in a rap verse, which I repeatedly asked him to correct. Applestotic?! Agnostic, dear, agnostic.

Although my family are largely churchgoers, they don't really bug me about church. But my gawd, I cannot count the number of strangers who tried to convert me. That s**t is annoying. I usually just start calmly and say, "Can we change the subject?" Or, "Do what makes you happy, but religion doesn't do it for me." I once went to a book signing at a church, but not FOR the church, and one of the attendees got mad that I didn't say I wanted to thank God for my book. He showed up solely to quiz me on religion although it had zip zero to do with the book. I was also told that talking about HIV prevention and STDs/STI prevention would be "inappropriate" for church--even though that was about half the plot in both books.

I just shook my head. You can definitely date someone who is religious. I've known married couples with one partner as a heavy churchgoer and the other one not, but you definitely have to be willing to support them. It's the equivalent of an author who dates someone who doesn't like to read: You BETTER start!

Written by

Check out her five Medium publications: Doggone World, Homegrown, I Do See Color, Tickled and We Need to Talk. Visit Shamontiel.com to read about her.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store