It works the same way once you get a bidet. I never knew what in the world a lota was until I started watching “Patriot Act.” Hasan Minhaj kept going on and on about them and bidets, and I thought it was bizarre. Two weeks later, it was still on my mind. A month or so later, I decided I was going to take on every single plumbing job I watched from my grandfather and install an electric bidet. That one made me nervous because it had a warning to unplug it during thunderstorms. I got a non-electric bidet and that was it for me. When I go to other folks’ homes, I have a hand bidet.

Once you use one of these things (a little over a year for me), it is really hard to go back to toilet tissue. It feels unclean. Never a thought in my mind, and this post will probably go over the heads of most people reading it, but now I can’t unthink it. My parents roll their eyes and claim they’ll bring toilet tissue with them whenever they come visit me. My nephews and their friends think “there are too many levers on this thing” and dodge it completely. My older brother just has an issue with water squirting up anyone’s butt and protested use of it altogether.

But my mother — who protested the most — doesn’t complain anymore. Slowly but surely, people are coming around to deciding it’s not so bad after all.

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Check out her five Medium publications: Doggone World, Homegrown, I Do See Color, Tickled and We Need to Talk. Visit to read about her.

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