I’m kinda sorta with you. A co-worker of mine used to pitch Bumble to me. She was on all the sites. On one hand, it saved me from a bunch of men I’m not interested in trying to date me. That always leaves me in an awkward spot, and I’m too honest to lead anybody on. On the other hand, rejection, yikes! In the three-month timeframe that I tested these sites out (after hearing her entertaining stories about it), I thought EHarmony was for people way older than me and Match just kept insisting on pairing me up with people I flat-out did not like (minus one guy who I dated almost immediately for two months). I liked OKCupid’s format much better. You say who you like. And if they like you back, you can talk.

But what I thought was ridiculous were men who would “like” me back — or first — but never talk. I had to initiate the conversation, which felt like Bumble. It’s just much easier to kick it off in person when you can make eye contact and talk, etc. I can’t wrap my mind around how people get Catfished. In one or two conversations, I’m like, “Yeah, so let’s meet up.” I need to make sure you are the person I think you are online. If not, I’m outta there.

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Check out her five Medium publications: Doggone World, Homegrown, I Do See Color, Tickled and We Need to Talk. Visit Shamontiel.com to read about her.

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