If you “hate to break it to me,” you wouldn’t have broken it to me. And I don’t consider it “adventurous” to hang out, talk to and/or befriend non-black women. If you do, again, that tells me where your mentality is. Other than both of us growing up in the Midwest (for me, Chicago) I can tell from this message alone we have zip zero in common nor are we “the same.” I’m also not drowning in the kind of privilege that makes my own insecurities try to force us to be the same. I actually enjoy learning and respecting people’s differences.

If you don’t understand “the point” of a diverse group of friends, you fall into the same entitled group that is defensive about only being around people like themselves. When people say they travel quite a bit — but their travel buddies and social circle still only look like them — they haven’t really branched out. They just got on a bus/plane/train to hang out with the same folks they could’ve partied with at home.

And anytime someone gets defensive about diversity, you already know it’s an insecurity they’re dealing with. Don’t drag me into your insecurities. Deal with them on your own time. (Side note: That “perpetual chip on our shoulder” is from meeting people like you, who think black people are all “violent, gang bangers” and Africans are so much nicer. And Jim Crow? Pssst, thing of the past. Black people don’t have living grandparents who went through that obviously. And I just knew I’d find a “go back to Africa” theme from you and you delivered strong with the one-way ticket comment.) Let’s talk never.

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Check out her five Medium publications: Doggone World, Homegrown, I Do See Color, Tickled and We Need to Talk. Visit Shamontiel.com to read about her.

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