I heard this at least three times when I was living in Marquette, Michigan. First person had “black friends” in Flint and only dated black guys. Second person was in Grand Rapids. The friends always seemed to be the guy they were intimate with and who NEVER seemed to claim them. But I do recall two Italian boxers who used the word excessively and the brothas did not care. I distanced myself from those two but did ask the black guys who hung out with them “Why is that OK to you?” In their minds, those two Italian brothers were brothas. To each his own. It wears me out when my skinfolk can actually have a conversation with someone they hang out with and explain why something just isn’t cool…and then don’t. I had a loooooong conversation with both girls mentioned above. They watched their words around me, but I just have this feeling it did not quite sink in and they went right back to talking about “my black friends, minus her.”

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Check out her five Medium publications: Doggone World, Homegrown, I Do See Color, Tickled and We Need to Talk. Visit Shamontiel.com to read about her.

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