I don’t really get caught up in celebrity endorsements. Hillary Clinton had Beyonce and Jay Z onstage announcing her as the next president and she still lost the electoral vote. And, considering I was working for a news outlet at the time, I’m still furious at both veteran and new journalists writing post after post about Hillary’s f — king emails. You have no idea how much I wanted to just scream, “STOP SENDING ME THIS USELESS INFORMATION TO EDIT! STOP WRITING IT ALTOGETHER!” I feel like the GOP is going to spin this Hunter Biden story the same way they did with Hillary’s emails.

Bernie doesn’t have the same kind of reputation problem. Or, at least Trump hasn’t gotten around to figuring out a way to slam him permanently yet. Between the two, I’d still vote for Bernie in the primaries again. I’m still stubbornly hoping that either one of them will choose Senator Kamala Sanders as their VP though. I felt like she dropped out way too soon when too many other candidates are far less popular and less qualified than she is.

If Biden picks Harris, I think that would be a good balance. I get the feeling that Sanders and Harris would not get along so well, especially if they disagree on policies. All I know is I’m not sold on Senator Elizabeth Warren or the Binder Thrower … at all.

But I would vote for a dying piece of grass on an icy Chicago snow day before I would ever humor the jackass who keeps using the White House as his vacation home when he’s not golfing. I’ll take the Binder Thrower, even if she gets a new supply to throw.