For about two months last year, I was on OK Cupid and Match. It was initially to write a story about my experience after talking to a coworker about online dating. I got one of those alerts saying I was a “popular” person on here and some language about being “good-looking” yadda yadda yadda. I neither fit the commercial looks of dating site “attractiveness” nor the complexion, but I got contacted by a diverse group of people.

Then I watched an episode of “Grown-Ish” and found out black women and Asian men were the most likely to be skipped over on these dating sites. I have mixed opinions on this. I can say with certainty that I went on dates with at least a handful of white guys and ended up exclusively dating one. I also went on dates or chatted with a couple brothas.

I think the only group that seemed to overlook me were Asian men, minus one biracial guy who I thought was cute as hell, but he was jaded over his ex. So sometimes I think the statistics on these sites can make people believe in a self-fulfilling prophecy that no one wants _________. That and I’ve stopped counting the amount of interracial couples with black men and white women. Again though, this could be a matter of location. The northside of Chicago does not look like the southside of Chicago when it comes to the dating scene, and I’ve lived on both sides equally.

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Check out her five Medium publications: Doggone World, Homegrown, I Do See Color, Tickled and We Need to Talk. Visit Shamontiel.com to read about her.

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