April, thank you very much for reading and commenting. While I was reading your story, I kept picturing a digital manager who was part of the same marketing team. (White, male, early 30s, veteran, and for some odd reason he played either the flute or the harp, I forget.) He was cold; took credit for everyone else’s work; never bothered to learn my name and would mix up the graphic designers’ names all the time; and had grown so hard to work with that his team quit the same week. One went on vacation for two weeks and then she quit; another found another job and he just flat-out disappeared. (And they were both delightful people who I liked quite a bit.) He hired a new team (all men) with one command: “You must be on my side.”
I pointed this out because I was lectured by this same terrible boss about not going out to bars/lunch or hanging out at people’s desk. And I mentioned that manager, who also didn’t mingle after work or hang out with the team. It is the weirdest lecture in the world to me for my boss to demand that I slack off — I have never not ever had a boss tell me to stop working to waste time. This isn’t the high school dance. I’m here to get paid and work at work! I pointed out that digital manager whose door was always closed and who would never really talk to anyone. Her response was, “Well, digital people are just like that.”
I asked her why wasn’t it OK for writers to “just be like that.” She had no response. I just have this feeling that had you been on his team (and I’m not at all convinced he’d hire a minority woman at all), she wouldn’t have dismissed digital people as “just like that.” It is absolutely frustrating to have someone tell you it’s raining while they’re pissing on your head. Anyway, with that said, sorry you had to go through that.