Additionally I can say with certainty that I worked with two other women in their 30s who did not have children, and Corporate America will work the shit outta you for that alone. Who do you have to go home to anyway? I applauded one job for allowing a mom on our team to work from home. But what blew my mind was the boss at this same job — one of which would text me on nights and weekends, had no boyfriend/husband, no kids — refused to let a colleague work from home. He was a dad, who often wanted to pick his child up from school but worked too far from his home to do that without working from home or leaving right on time instead of late-night hours. So it blew my mind that even women bosses were keeping this nonsense going. The boss just felt like since she had nothing else to do, that we (the child-free women) didn’t either and apparently the colleague who was a dad could rely on his wife to handle motherly duties.

It is just bizarre to see that you run up against a rock and a hard place either way. And then folks wonder why you don’t want to hang out after work and keep your personal life to yourself. IT just seems like the more you share, the more traditional employers will try to figure out how to get you to work more for the same rate or make less.

It’s one of the reasons I threw in the towel and freelance full time. My minimum hourly wage is right there. I don’t bend much when it comes to flat-rate jobs and still calculate it for hourly employment. And once people start trying to negotiate their way into lower pay (or asking me to take a flat-rate for a vague amount of hours I don’t know until after I’m hired — and yes, this has happened with very well-known companies and from POC clients), I’m out. I had to start approaching my salary the way men do — it is what it is, take it or leave it. The other way just never worked.